So we’re finally back at university after a long summer (honestly, towards the end it got boring), and every fucker seems to be back in the uni gym regretting that extra glass of wine and that Chinese takeaway they probably shouldn’t have ordered last weekend.
And whilst I’m at the gym, trying to motivate myself by looking at the latest Instagram model or whatever, here are a few thoughts that enter my not-so-fitspirational brain.
1. I really cannot be assed going the gym.
2. Get up and go the gym. You had a dominos last night and your belly is starting to look more like the Michelin man than a VS model.
3. I’m going, I’m going. VS body, here I come.
4. Do these gym clothes make me look fatter than I am?
5. I don’t even care. Who looks nice in the gym anyway?
6. I’m here. Why the fuck is it so busy?
7. Ok, so apparently some people do look nice in the gym. Like Little Miss Perfect Polly over there.
8. Starting with light cardio. Which means 100% no running on a treadmill. Nobody needs to hear those thuds. And nobody better come near me whilst I’m on it.
9. Oh, of course. Why WOULDN’T Perfect Polly decide to park herself on the treadmill right next to me?
10. Bitch. I mean, I’d do it if I looked like her and she looked like me, but still. Bitch.
11. What a lie. I’d be coming to the gym in my nude if I looked like that.
12. What’s the point of a sports bra? It doesn’t actually keep it all in place.
13. Time for weights!
14. Why do men have to make that god-awful sound when they’re lifting weights?
15. And why can’t they drop it quietly? I might be 21, but you can still give me a heart attack.
16. Who even knows how to do a kettlebell squat! Oh, me, that’s who!
17. Can I go yet?
18. Why is my personal trainer a compulsive liar? “Just one more”.
19. This best get rid of my ham arms and cottage cheese thighs before I go out tonight.
20. Finally, gym done! Time to reward myself with a Big Mac. And a share bag of Minstrels.
Are you a fan of the gym or do you hate every minute? Any tips and tricks on how to conquer your workout?
Let me know in the comments.
With love & laughter,
Hayley @ Spoonful of Scouse.