Hello there, my beautiful blogging friends.
So lately, I won’t lie, I’ve been doing a fair bit of shopping.
The final student loan for the year came through, exams are stressing me out so I thought… “what better way to destress than with some retail therapy?”
And it genuinely was a good idea, it was all going great until I realised one tiny problem.
I actually needed to visit Primark.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Primark as much as the next girl – it’s cheap, often has a few bits to grab and usually, it’s got a good choice of clothing to buy (whether your style is gothic or more of a boho-chic, there’s always something for you).
However, anyone who lives near one of Primark’s stores will feel the same way as I do. While we may love the place, Primark is a living nightmare. It’s massive, unorganized and nine times out of ten, the queues are HUGE.
There is no denying that we all experience the same sheer and utter dread of knowing that at some point, you’re just going to have to brave it and enter that horrific place – and quite possibly never return.
So, I thought for tonight’s post, I’d write 25 thoughts that I can almost guarantee will go through every shopper’s mind before, during and after leaving the famous Primark.
- Oh, I’ll just have a quick look in Primark – I haven’t been in for ages.
- Okay, yeah, I remember now… this is why.
- How is it always so busy? No matter what time of day I come in, it’s chocker. And why does it always stink?
- Doesn’t anyone ever update the clothes in here? It’s been the same stuff the last three times I’ve been in here.
- Oh and would you look at that – another slogan tee. Exactly what we all need.
- Ay, look, this is nice, isn’t it? Hang on, how much? Getting cheeky you, Primark.
- Leggings? Ha. Good one but flashing my backside so half of Liverpool can see my underwear just isn’t the look I’m going for. Shame.
- Wait. Since when did Primark do gym wear?
- Right, this is nice. I’ll get this. What size? Best grab one of everything, be safe rather than sorry and make my way to the changing rooms. You never can be sure in this place.
- Oh and look, there’s a queue. As per usual. Do you reckon anyone will notice if I go by the stairs instead? I’ll be dead quick, wait here.
- For God’s sake! Where have they gone now? I’ll give them a text. Or I would if Primark believed in giving people some mobile signal.
- And I won’t be getting that top either because while it gave me a great pair of boobs in the back – which is an achievement in itself to be fair – I looked like a prepubescent child from the front. So thanks, but no thanks Primark.
- Hmm, the pj’s in here are always a good idea.
- Told you! Finally, something good. But do I get these ones? Or those over there?
- Remember that awkward phase when everyone said “Primarni”. That was rough, for a while I thought I was over in Birkenhead.
- Right, I’ll get these and go.
- Are you messing? Have you seen the length of that queue?
- Well, I’m just going to have to wait, aren’t I? I’m not leaving with nothing after being here for an hour.
- No, seriously – why am I queuing up for a pair of fluffy socks and some Disney pj’s.
- Then again, if I grab some sweets by the till then it’s not a complete waste.
- They’re only a quid and I like them sweets as well.
- What are these random DVDs by the till too? Bloody hell, be assed paying a fiver for “The Hangover”? Netflix is only a tenner a month and it’s got every shite film you could ever imagine!
- Really? Still going to go with the paper bags? Well, there goes my shopping right into a puddle before I’ve even made it to the bus stop. Even though they do double-bag now.
- I mean, I’ll justify buying their clothes and basically support them in exploiting child workers. But apparently, the real problem here is the paper bags.
- Fuck you Primark – well, at least for another few months.
Hayley @ Spoonful of Scouse